Kehilangan paling terasa dalam hidupku - Contest Ady

me joining the above contest, due 31 jan

to join, click HERE!

here is my story for the above contest...

~kehilangan paling terasa dlm hidup me ialah kehilangan Ayahanda tercinta, pd 15 june 2009...~

my dad jenis yg sgt jaga bab2 mkn, jenis yg tak suka duduk diam like lepak2 ke apa kan..my dad aktif bekerja even after bersara pun...like berkebun, bertukang etc (ganti exercise utk mengeluarkan peluh katanya)...my dad was healthy until 2 months before his demise..my dad was diagnosed with a liver cancer, unknown and so sudden, kami semua tak tau psl penyakit tu, and my dad pun tak tau dia ada penyakit yg membawa maut tu....until the day he went into coma, so time tu doctor memang dah tak boleh buat apa2 pun...dh tak de ubat...slps coma 3 minggu, my dad then regain consciousness for 2 weeks and then passed away...

one story that I could never ever forget, forever.. is bila my mom told me, petang sblm my dad meninggal, my dad was fully conscious, tp very2 weak sbb my dad dah tak boleh accept makanan sejak dia fell ill...my mom sempat cakap2 dgn my dad, my mom tanya, :”sampai hati awak nak tinggalkan saya..”...my dad answered shortly: “sedih.tapi terpaksa..”.my tears rolled down my cheeks masa dengar my mom citer, even masa i menaip ni pun...my dad passed away that nite, di pangkuan my mom, my elder brother and my youngest brother. Myself, my other younger brother, my elder sister and my other younger brother tak sempat berada di sisi my dad masa his last breath..we all were on the way from KL to kampung...rasa macam semlm ajer peristiwa ni berlaku..

My mom, and all my siblings susah sgt nak accept the fact that our dad dah tak de – rasa mcm mimpi ajer...even sampai hari ni...sbb my dad despite garang, tapi close dgn anak2 and tempat berbincang, share problems, buat keputusan..so losing him in life is undescribable..me kalau chat dgn adik2 me (via ym or skype), weolls akan sama2 menangis bila tercerita psl our dad...:(

betapa terasanya kami dgn kehilangan our dad..because true love of my dad towards us and our mom is reflected in the way my dad built his career and future plan...my dad start from zero, sbb my dad kira dtg dari keluarga miskin tegar..memang tak de harta langsung..my dad masa muda keje sbg British army kat Singapore, then keje dgn MTC (Msian Tobacco Company), then my dad amik VSS (voluntary separation scheme), then keje sbg pemandu teksi...my dad memang menghargai every single cent yang dia dapat..especially masa keje bawak teksi tu..sebab it was tiring..kesian sangat tengok my dad balik dalam keadaan yang penat padahal income tak seberapa pun, tapi my dad tak nak duduk diam tanpa buat apa2 keje..

hasilnyer all his children tak rasa kesusahan yg my dad rasa masa kecik...ada my mom citer my dad pernah tak cukup makan dan dihina for being a poor orphan masa kecik, sebab tu my dad keje kuat untuk make sure anak2 dia 7 orang semuanyer hidup senang and keje bagus2 dan dihormati, sebab my dad tau bagaimana rasanyer kalau miskin dan dihina...

so effect keje kuat my dad masa muda...sekarang my mom yang rasa...my dad tinggalkan my mom investment and income yg cukup..(savings, landed property, kebun buah, rumah2 sewa) sebab my dad tak mau my mom hidup susah bila dia dah tak ada nanti..and true love of my dad towards his children..education yg cukup..so memang all my siblings have a good career..and Alhmdulillah cukup religious education pun...hakikatnyer the love is mutual...kami sangat2 merindui dan merasai kehilangan our dad...bila mana kerinduan rasa mcm tak tertahan sgt2..kami semua kini cuma dpt menyedekahkan bacaan al-quran utk my dad agar dia bahagia di alam sana..that’s the best that we can do..adik i yang kini menemani my mom yang duduk sorang2 kat kampong selalu cakap.. keluarga kami kini dah tak sempurna (cukup) lepas my dad tak ada... and life is not going to be the same again..never..yes dear, itulah reality yang pahit...

pic masa raya 2008, ni pic terakhir family kami all complete, with my dad, mom and all anak cucu...

see - true love is till death do us apart kan...hanya maut yang memisahkan true love between my mom and dad, and between my dad and anak-anak...we truly miss you Ayah. Kita pasti akan berjumpa dan berkumpul sebagai satu keluarga yang lengkap lagi satu hari nanti..di alam sana yang pasti dan abadi..

Al-Fatihah to arwah Haji Ismail bin Awang Besar..

 

pic kenangan me and my dad - Hanya Tuhan yang tahu betapa hati ini merinduimu Ayah..betapa me sgt2 merasai kehilangamu Ayah...:( :( dan air mata me tumpah lagi utk kesejuta kalinya...:(

~the end~